However, recognition of same-sex relationships, whether through marriage, civil unions, or relationship registration, provides social and legal recognition. It also removes the difficulty same sex couples face in proving a ‘domestic partnership’. Today, proof of a relationship is an obstacle to accessing many legal entitlements for same-sex couples. Recognition of same-sex relationships would allow those entitlements to be accessed without unnecessary bureaucratic complication.

For some rights, such as inheritance on an intestacy, or property division upon a breakdown of a relationship, there is a requirement that domestic partners have lived together for two years before they have rights under that legislation. That means ‘domestic partners’ are not treated on the same basis as married couples who do not have to wait a two year period. In other areas, such as property and estate settlement, life insurance and (state government) superannuation, or where the parties do not reside together, the lack of a simple way to prove a relationship serves as an inhibitor to people claiming basic rights and entitlements. To access the same rights, married couples simply produce their marriage certificate.

Civil union schemes, such as the ACT’s twice scuttled Civil Partnerships Bill would have enabled same-sex couples to overcome the evidential hurdles in proving that their relationship exists. Same-sex couples would have been treated in relation to this issue on a like basis with a married heterosexual couple. Parties to a civil union would have all the same practical benefits, protections and responsibilities under law as a husband and wife in a marriage.

Changing the law also changes society. An optional benefit of civil unions or relationship registration is the choice to have a ceremony. This could occur either at the time of registration, or at another time and place.

Until now, same-sex couples have been denied a legal form of ceremony to celebrate and affirm their relationships. Ceremonies allow couples to summon support from family, friends, and the wider community. Celebrations provide couples with an extended network of support and increased social participation. And they give both families the chance to meet, negotiate relationships, and negate public conspiracies of silence or shame by providing positive role models of happy relationships.

Relationship recognition goes beyond same-sex partners. It goes a long way towards ensuring a child’s certainty about the status of their parents. Certainty about parental status at the earliest possible time minimises the potential for disputes and litigation about a person’s obligations and status in respect of the child, and promotes stability in the child’s life.

As it is in the best interests of children for their parents to be subject to all of the usual parental obligations and responsibilities, it is in the public interest for people who become parents to be subject to all of the laws that flow from the parent-child relationship. The law should eliminate discrimination against children and parents based on their family type and relationship status. Legal recognition of diverse family types is an important way of countering discrimination.

The simplest way to ensure comprehensive social and administrative equality of relationships within Australia would be to amend the Marriage Act 1961 (Cth). Section 5(1) of the Marriage Act 1961 (Cth) was amended in 2004 to read: “Marriage means the union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life.”

By replacing the previous silence about gay marriage with a clear legislative proscription, the government made a powerful public statement that same-sex unions are not morally, socially or legally acceptable. They are also not equal to heterosexual relationships. This overtly and covertly perpetuates homophobia by enshrining discrimination of people in same-sex relationships into the law.

Uniform national marriage laws including same-sex couples would remove discrimination in a raft of areas, including Centrelink entitlements, Medicare, superannuation, taxation, pensions and benefits. Each of these areas could be changed on their own, or with a national civil union scheme. But it would only take a few amended words in the Marriage Act 1961 (Cth) to eliminate a suite of discrimination.

Marriage is an evolving institution of citizenship and adulthood, capable of including all people. In previous and less tolerant times, marriage has excluded mixed-race and mixed-denominational couples. In time, it has the potential to include same-sex couples. Until then, civil unions and relationship registration are a step in the right direction.